READ THIS POST ONLY IF YOU HAVE READ ALLEGIANT
I'll try not to blatantly state any spoilers but this post portrays all my thoughts on Allegiant, however vaguely, as well as the trilogy as a whole, so hold off until you've actually read the book. But please do return after finishing, because I want to know your thoughts on it too! Also - I do know that the title of this post is an oxymoron, since I intended it that way.
I wrote up this whole post (except the update at the end) an hour after I finished reading Allegiant.
I'm sitting here imagining hearts breaking all over the world as people turn the pages of this book. Never have I been this affected by a novel in my life, and never will I be in the future. I read the final words of this trilogy just about an hour ago, and yes, it did take me an hour to compose my thoughts into coherent words, let alone sentences. I did send an email to a friend just about twenty minutes after I read Allegiant, but I can't count that because I was all over the place and kind of numb. And I also want to say that I will not rate Allegiant, nor can I actually review it. I can't review it because no words can do it justice, and I can't rate it because I'm still conflicted, and I'll probably always be.
First, I want to share my favourite quote from Divergent. Okay, possibly my favourite quote from a YA novel ever.
“We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.”I miss Divergent. Everything about it. It strikes me how simple everything used to be back then (at least until the end), and looking back now, I want to cry all over again, just for that loss of simplicity and pure joy in living. When I read Divergent, I certainly never imagined the turn this series would take - the politics involved, the rebellions, the deception, and the lives lost. I think about all the Dauntless initiates we were introduced to in Divergent, and grew to love or hate in Insurgent, and I close my eyes in sorrow and respect as I remember the only ones who are still alive at the end of Allegiant.
I don't feel like I'm exaggerating when I say that a piece of me has died after reading this book. People may laugh, but I know that some will understand me. When I read fiction, I know in my subconscious that it's just that - fiction. It's not real. But with the Divergent trilogy, just this trilogy, I feel like everything IS real. The characters I grew to love or despise are real. Tris, Tobias, Uriah, Christina, Marlene, Lynn, Zeke, Tori, Caleb, Peter, Cara, Evelyn, Marcus. All of them are real. This WORLD is real. And because of my unwavering belief in this reality, I die a little inside every time I think of the outcome of Allegiant.
If I love a series, I'll find time to re-read it, however long it may take for me to get to it. I've re-read Divergent twice, and Insurgent once. But I'm not kidding when I say that I don't want to ever re-read Allegiant. I don't want to put myself through that again. I don't want to revisit Tris's fallen figure, Uriah's unmoving smile-less face, and Tobias's tears. Especially that last bit. It may be cowardly of me to avoid it right now, but either way I know that if memories of this book start to fade too much, I will consider going back to it. I don't want my memories of these events to fade away, just like Tobias never really wanted his memories of Tris to disappear.
I'm not one to cry over books or movies. Not really. In fact, I can count on my fingers the number of books that have ever made me shed a single tear or bawl my eyes out. And Allegiant is definitely a bawl-my-eyes-out kind of book. The first tear dropped not when Tris's mother came to take her away to the afterlife, but when Tobias found out that the love of his life has left him. And from then on, reading the rest of the book was pure torture. Tobias's first memories of Tris were like a shard to the heart. God, now I'm tearing up writing this post when I think of it.
Since I'm losing control all over again now, I guess it's time to stop writing. So I'll just end with this, one of my favourite quotes from Allegiant. There are probably a lot more, but they'll just make me tear up even more, so I chose this one.
I don't belong to Abnegation, or Dauntless, or even the Divergent. I don't belong to the Bureau or the experiment or the fringe. I belong to the people I love, and they belong to me—they, and the love and loyalty I give them, form my identity far more than any word or group ever could.If you've actually read all of this, thank you. Even if you just skimmed through, I'm grateful. I wrote this mostly for me, but I felt like I had to share it with people who would maybe understand, you know? I don't think I've ever been this honest or, well, self-exposing before, so it's a bit strange to think people are reading this, but at the same time I'm glad to get the burden off my chest.
Veronica Roth, you truly are an amazing author and I want to thank you for giving me such a beautiful world to immerse myself in, regardless of its flaws. I want to thank you for giving me Tris and Tobias, two of the best characters I will ever encounter. I'm devastated by what you did in Allegiant, because you obviously knew how earth-shattering it would be to the world, but now after I've calmed down, I understand your decision. And in a way, I think it was the right one. Not for us, but for Tris. It's what she would do, being truly Abnegation until the end, and I appreciate the fact that you stayed true to her, regardless of how you must have felt writing those words down. So thank you, Veronica.
UPDATE - 3 days after Allegiant has been out in the wild
So I've heard that there's been some hate going on regarding this book. I get that people are really pissed about what happened. So am I. Hell, no one in their right minds would be okay with something like that. BUT DON'T BE HATING ON THE AUTHOR, YEAH? You people should be thanking Veronica for giving the world such an amazing world and set of characters. Just because we want a happy ending doesn't mean we're going to get it, and we have to deal with that.
I'm using a couple of John Green's tweets here to reiterate my point.
If you want to read more about the mean backlash Veronica has got, plus hers and other authors' reactions to it, CLICK HERE to read the article. I was pretty shocked when I read it. I still love Veronica no matter what, even though I was so heartbroken by the finale of this trilogy. She doesn't deserve the hate she's getting!
And that's it for today. Thanks for reading this incredibly long and pretty emotional post xD
HOLD UP. Another update!
Veronica Roth just opened up about the Allegiant ending in an interview. Check it out HERE. You really really need to! She justifies pretty much everything.